In the office of Professor Addams, you will find a desk.
On that desk, you will find papery things.
But mostly used underwear and half-eaten pizza.
Featured Papery Thing
Tom Picks Tom’s Brain: known as the very first interractive eBook in the known universe, just so long as you forget all of the other ones. ‘Explain,’ you scream? Well. Tom – hard to believe, we know – has been an internet marketer for over two decades. And in that time – easy to believe, we know – he has learned at least four things. This eBook is your chance to learn them, as well. It works like so: you ask questions, Tom answers questions. What can you ask? Anything. Whatever you like. Anything. Pick Tom’s brain at will, and Tom will include his favourite questions in the eBook, and answer them. You can then download and print out the eBook, and use it as a rather handy fly-swatter.
Other Papery Things
It can cost quite a bit of money to setup an internet business. Startup Capital 101 teaches you how to raise funds for your upcoming business. Lecture 1 introduces the course, talking mostly about bollocks, possums, IM Land, nappies, incontinent Harpy eagles, and monkey hair.
In lecture 1 of The Dating Affiliate 101, Flamboyant Nipples, you receive an introduction to the business of dating promotion. You also receive talk of wizard testicles, nipple tassels, husbands or perhaps cats called Mister Tinkles, and humid environs among the student body.
Spoilers. Do you wonder which marketing topics will next be covered by Professor Addams on campus? No, neither do we. Said topics were found scrawled on a naked and unconscious Addams. Many thanks to Mildred Jones for transcribing them. No thanks, however, for the pictures.
Freshman student? Your time will be very well spent reading this particular paper. Providing, of course, you happen to be doing something else at the time. Anything else, really. Scratching your left buttock. Massaging your pet possum. Scratching his left buttock. Whatever you fancy.